:: wildflower ::

the life and times of a wildflower girl
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:: my mother
:: she wasnt gone
:: aug 15: nellie mckay
:: aug 20: dan bern
:: aug 21: martha wainwright
:: aug 27-29: women in photojournalism
:: sep 17: dar williams
:: sep 25: catie curtis
:: 'pride and prejudice' jane austen
:: josh ritter 'hello starling'
:: eliza gilkyson 'land of milk and honey'
:: common rotation 'live at the hotel cafe'
:: richard shindell 'vuelta'
:: meg hutchinson 'the crossing'
:: nat'l geographic [>]
:: a photo a day [>]
:: photocolumn [>]
:: blue eyes [>]
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:: women in pj [>]
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:: look at me [>]
:: found [>]
:: silicon salley [>]
:: here [>]
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:: pj dot org [>]
:: this is me [>]
:: daniel [>]
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:: andrea [>]
:: shoshana [>]
:: kati [>]
:: kim [>]
:: william [>]
:: melanie [>]
:: stasia [>]
:: melissa [>]
:: cubegirl [>]
[::..recent flicks..::]
:: fahrenheit 9/11
:: 13 going on 30

:: Tuesday, December 31 ::

i havent read anything so disturbing to me in a long time. it took me a while to ingest it actually. so. this was the best way i could think of to say have a safe, happy and love-filled new year.

:: caroline 8:27:00 PM [+] ::
:: Monday, December 30 ::
am i the only one who is just fabulously in love with the new paul simon song? i think its called 'father and daughter' and its off of the soundtrack to the new wild thornberrys movie.

yea, i probably am.

but come on. i mean. cant you just hear nigel in his crazy accent saying it to eliza?

im such a nerd.

:: caroline 9:19:00 PM [+] ::
:: Friday, December 27 ::
hi. theres a new journal entry.

today: more snow features. kids sledding. men snowblowing. and a new police chief getting sworn in. of whom i got a rockin shot. thankyouverymuch.

tonight: five basketball games. three locations. two hours.

:: caroline 4:43:00 PM [+] ::
:: Thursday, December 26 ::
a man who was nothing short of an amazing contribution to the art world was lost today.

rip, herb ritts.

:: caroline 10:56:00 PM [+] ::
:: Monday, December 23 ::
i happened upon this tonight while reading a diary i head to every now and then. and well. today just felt like a damn near perfect day for a quote like this. so the quote of today:

"i find the idea of myself literally hitting a concrete wall around 6:30AM an ironic metaphor for my life." written by partygirl

:: caroline 10:22:00 PM [+] ::
:: Sunday, December 22 ::
im rotten. im so so rotten. far more rotten than you would ever even believe.

ive had this on-again-off-again crush. on a guy i work with. for the past year or year and a half. while its been off-again for some time now. these past couple of days. well. okay. since the basketball game saturday night when i caught him looking at me when he should have been watching the game. yep. its on-again.

i think we have these vibes going between us. really. because it had been growing a little bit in the couple of days before the game. and then that look happened. and then he came into the office after the game. which he never does on a saturday night because we dont put out a sunday paper. and he comes into the office. and it was just to ask if i wanted to go to the bar with him. i said no because i was too tired but i promptly wished i had afterward.

i hate this (okay no not really.) its silly. its all i can think about. and i giggle like some kind of twelve year old girl around him. and say stupid things just to get into a conversation with him. and i can feel my face turn red. and i wind up shaking his hand for a few seconds too long. and betting him seventeen cents that that wasnt just j.lo on the television taking off her top.

but he makes me laugh. which is something i dont have enough of in my life. and he makes me forget about all these things that are going on. and i think thats the draw really. because he is so ridiculously not my type.

tonight it was tossing a football with him around the office. and getting tackled. and then. inevitably. a little bit of harmless wrestling.

but last night i had dreams about kissing him. and its a little bothersome. for me anyway. to wake up next to the boy youve been with for almost six years. to wake up beside him. from a dream about kissing that boy you work with.

im not so rotten. am i?

ps: im going to the gym tomorrow. i am. i am. i am. really i am.

:: caroline 10:10:00 PM [+] ::
im really not even sure what the purpose of this is. but its a little creepy. and a little fun.

:: caroline 9:54:00 PM [+] ::
:: Friday, December 20 ::
aside from getting my not-as-new-as-i-thought-it-was-when-i-paid-for-it camera fixed. and a new lens or two.

this is my christmas list. you know. in case anyones wondering what to get me.

now if only i lived in a warm, sunny climate. where i could actually put the top down. arrrrh.

:: caroline 10:35:00 AM [+] ::
:: Thursday, December 19 ::
ive been spending most of the past couple of weeks at my mothers house. talking with her. or reading while she sleeps. or driving her to the mall to do some walking. which the doctor said would be good for her. and it has been. the time we have been spending together has been great. while we have always been close, i think we have actually been growing closer. i guess its been a pretty incredible couple of weeks.

as much as i hated to do it. my job search has been called off. although as soon as i made that decision. which. by the way. wasnt really even a decision. it just happened. its just something you do. you know. so then. something resembling a dream internship presents itself. and i cant keep myself from thinking about it in my thirty minute drive down to my mothers house every morning. but i know im being selfish. and i doubt id even get past phase one of an interview process. if i even got an interview. and even if i did. im sure the opportunity will come again. someday.

and my father called over the weekend. and left a message on my machine. and i had to listen to it twice to even figure out who it was. and tonight he called back. and we talked. for almost an hour. almost an hour full of awkward silences. and shared laughter.

and it was good. really good, actually.

and theres a new random-ish entry here. by the way. which i wrote last night (this morning really.)

:: caroline 11:39:00 PM [+] ::
:: Wednesday, December 11 ::
"i knew what i had. it was a basic truth to me. i was a brilliant writer. and that never went away, it's just...as we grow up, we forget that we know how to shine." -written by melanie. who is always inspiring.

(bolded by me. you know. for the important part.)

:: caroline 11:24:00 PM [+] ::
:: Tuesday, December 10 ::
theres a new journal entry. where im feeling sort of detached. about last week.

and theres also an updated photo. on the site that isnt.

:: caroline 12:00:00 AM [+] ::
:: Monday, December 2 ::
tomorrow is the big day.

im not really sure what else to say. except that ill be in springfield for the next five days. and even though most nights ill be making the ninety minute drive home. i dont know how much ill be updating.

thanks for the support though.

:: caroline 10:54:00 PM [+] ::
:: Sunday, December 1 ::
heres my quote for today:

"the alleys, offramps and gutters of america are just full of amazing stuff. you just have to look, yeah?" -courtesy of found magazine

:: caroline 8:24:00 PM [+] ::

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