:: Sunday, June 30 ::
you will live in a house.
:: Thursday, June 27 ::
you will drive a green subaru impreza.
you will marry ben folds and have 2 kids.
you will be a writer in colorado
this i could live with. remember MASH?
:: caroline 10:22:00 AM [+] ::
him: "dont you want this relationship to get better?"
:: Wednesday, June 26 ::
him: "is that no you dont want it to get better, or no you dont think it can?"
im really just tired. i think. of all of this.
:: caroline 8:23:00 PM [+] ::
theres a silly sort of entry over at the journal
:: Tuesday, June 25 ::
:: caroline 2:57:00 PM [+] ::
tonight i watched the moon rise over the mountains. the ones to the east. the ones that keep me in this valley. as a backdrop for the baseball game i went to tonight. alone. just because i needed to get out of the house. and what a pleasure when i got there. two of my favorite boys came over and sat with me. and i sat between the two. and watched baseball. and felt fine. for a spell.
:: Saturday, June 22 ::
:: caroline 12:33:00 AM [+] ::
because im bored. and not sleepy. theres a new friday five entry in the journal.
:: Wednesday, June 19 ::
:: caroline 12:34:00 AM [+] ::
so tomorrow im heading to the big city for the day. im beyond excited about this.
:: Tuesday, June 18 ::
im looking at apartments. im interviewing with roommates. im meeting a friend for dinner. im going to trident bookstore and cafe for lunch. and im gonna have the best veggie burger with provolone cheese. on the planet. and some healthy freshly made juice concoction of some kind. and im going to sit. and people watch. and maybe even read a book i bought in the bookstore portion of the bookstore/cafe. on newbury.
im even. looking for a job.
and when i get back. im going to finally write all about whats been on my mind these past few weeks.
yep. arent you excited?
:: caroline 9:56:00 PM [+] ::
after inspecting our tongues in my rear view mirror while waiting for the rain to stop so we could head back onto the playground, my just-turned-seven-that-day year old neice pointed out that, while mine looked a lot like hers in all of their green-ness after each enjoying an apple lollipop, i have a lot of bumps on mine.
:: Sunday, June 16 ::
me: 'yes i do, do you know what those bumps are called?'
britt: 'sure. taste bugs.'
after a short discussion about how theyre not actually called 'taste bugs' but 'taste buds' her seven year old logic won out. theyre called taste bugs.
god i love that kid.
:: caroline 1:08:00 PM [+] ::
'maybe you just ask too many questions' (said harshly)
:: Saturday, June 15 ::
:: caroline 6:39:00 PM [+] ::
today i bought bitch and real simple. theres a paradox of some sort in there somewhere i just know it.
i used to buy bitch a lot. back in my heyday. i was single and living in the fenway neighborhood of boston and bought it at the one small independent bookstore near my apartment that carried it. years ago. today i walked into barnes and noble and spotted it. on the second to top shelf. nestled between ms. and glamour(!) on the newsstand. i smiled big and stood on my toes to grab a copy, then placed it on top of my copy of real simple. now i can stop rereading my old ones.
:: caroline 9:21:00 PM [+] ::
why do i always feel so much more for him when he's away?
:: caroline 12:57:00 AM [+] ::
okay so i had big plans for tonight. what with daniel being away and all. big plans. you know. make some tea (because its a cold night for june) read some. maybe watch a movie. maybe even write some. big plans.
:: Friday, June 14 ::
but instead i went to dinner with my mom. which was fine of course. and i bought some flip flops at old navy. and then went into work and goofed off with friends for a while. and didnt get home until after 10. then watched some show on hgtv for half an hour. and watched sex & the city and realized how pathetic my life is in comparison. then promptly decided i was okay with that. and now im sleepy. i thought it was going to be a me sort of night. ah well.
carrie bradshaw is inspirational. to some degree. to a certain subsection of me. but i wouldnt want her life. though i wouldnt mind stealing her apartment if i ever moved back to that city.
:: caroline 12:06:00 AM [+] ::
i feel like writing. ive felt it bubbling up inside of me for the past several months. ive never considered myself any kind of writer. im not a writer. but its a desire ive always had. ive thought about taking a creative writing class at the local community college. or some kind of workshop. or something. but then that fear comes out. and knocks the sense back into me.
so i feel like writing. but i suppose i just feel like keeping it to myself.
today i was inspired by 100 words and barbara, who is just brilliance.
:: caroline 4:41:00 PM [+] ::
and now we are accusing dogs of racial profiling? this is the most idiotic thing ive ever heard. evereverever.
:: Thursday, June 13 ::
:: caroline 4:03:00 PM [+] ::
the recent trip to the used cd store wound up plentiful. heres what i bought.
billy bragg and wilco 'mermaid avenue' - i adore woody guthrie. i always have. this album came highly recommended by daniels friend, josh, who works at said store. these two took found lyrics written by woody guthrie and put music to them. the result is nothing short of amazing. im completely in awe of this album. (natalie merchant even makes a guest appearance on a couple of songs)
liz phair 'whip smart' - not as great as 'whitechocolatespaceegg' in my opinion, but very liz phair and anything she does is great.
nick drake 'pink moon' - nick drake is a serious love of mine. he is on my ever-growing list of 'why do they have to be dead?' but he is only for specific times and places. he is not a purchase for a driving cd. he is a 'sit at home on the porch with a candle going and relax' cd all the way. i first bought 'way to blue: an introduction to nick drake' more than a few years ago (it was released on my birthday!) and i think ive just about worn it out. so for a little variety, i finally added another one of his cds. as a sidenote, im one of those people who doesnt like that 'pink moon' was used in a cabrio commercial, and from what ive heard, on some WB show (!) i dont know why. it just bothers me.
yay for turn it up!
:: caroline 9:56:00 PM [+] ::
seems like these days, everyone has one of these little quizlet things. theres one for every day of the week now i think. but i stumbled upon this one for the first time today. and i figured why not? i havent updated in a few days. so here goes. two for tuesday - two days late.
:: Tuesday, June 11 ::
1. everyone's gotta pay the bills somehow. tell us a little about the work you do. im a photographer for a small town daily newspaper.
2. do you have a "dream job?" if so, describe it! im doing it. on a much smaller scale than what my 'dream job' would be though, which is shooting for national geographic. i have some other contenders for a 'dream job' but this is the one thats been in my heart for a very long time. another thing id really love to do someday is to buy a huge house with tons of acres and run my own animal shelter, which would save all the animals on death row all over the country, and work with and help all of the pets deemed 'unadoptable' by your average shelter, until they were adoptable. or at least give them a happy home to live out the rest of their lives.
:: caroline 7:46:00 PM [+] ::
i bumped into a former co-worker/acquaintance/friend today at the post office. aside from good conversations about how much we both miss the city. and the duplicity of living in this godforsaken town. there were other conversations. which were also good. better really. we sat on the steps of the post office and talked for over an hour.
:: Monday, June 10 ::
its just. grrr. i have so much to think about.
:: caroline 1:50:00 AM [+] ::
my hair is long enough to pull back into a ponytail. at last. and im listening to the amazing kissing jessica stein soundtrack coming from downstairs. i have a couple of hours off this afternoon. and im wearing my new cranberryish dress.
:: Saturday, June 8 ::
sometimes its the little things.
oh and did i mention. the graduation went fabulously. i dont know if thats a word. but it went great. i got some great shots. my photos are shining all over page one and several other pages today. and ive gotten heaps of complements on them. even though the fireworks photos didnt work out. it was still light out when they shot them off. and i kept trying to adjust. but it just wasnt working. but anyway. all went well otherwise.
:: caroline 3:28:00 PM [+] ::
have i mentioned my brand new supercrush on ben folds? hes now one of my two musician loves. the other being beck. yes i suppose i do have strange taste in men. something about those skinny nerdy misfit guys. anyway. from the first note at the concert in northampton last night i was hooked. even though it made me sad. and nostalgic. like it always does. for my piano days. hes absolutely incredible on the piano. and im always a sucker for piano players. plus. you know. he is not tough to look at. heh.
:: caroline 4:44:00 PM [+] ::
todays been hard. after waking up from five hours of sleep with a headache and feeling nauseous, i knew i had a full day ahead of me. two assignments this morning. two tonight. with a two hour break inbetween. which is where i am right now.
:: Thursday, June 6 ::
and so im nervous. right. my little town, for the first time in its history, is getting a (very) minor league baseball team. tonight is opening night. im shooting it. the mayor (who i adore) is throwing out the first pitch. and then. crowd shots. atmosphere shots. what? thats what my editor had to say. so im going to do my best. but its a huge deal in town and im afraid im going to mess it up. then. starting just thirty minutes later is the high school graduation. my first. ever. and its outside. on the football field at night. im not going to be able to be there to get the procession onto the field so ill have to look for other opportunities. which is fine. i just dont know what to expect. at all. and then theyre setting off fireworks. and supposedly. one of those fireworks is going to say '2002' and im supposed to shoot this. even though ive never shot fireworks before. ever.
so im really nervous. because i just know. im going to fuck everything up.
my confidence. sky high. yep.
:: caroline 4:39:00 PM [+] ::
is this some kind of sick joke? okay these are my spots. yep. one of these is the town i live in. another one is three towns away. and six more on this list are less than an hour from my house, several of which i frequent! i guess im definitely living in the right region. yep.
:: Wednesday, June 5 ::
shelburne falls, mass
morgantown, west virginia
elkins, west virginia
cape cod, mass (this isnt a town, btw, its an area)
st helens, oregon
berkeley springs, west virginia
hartford, connecticut (ugh never)
newport, rhode island
:: caroline 7:45:00 PM [+] ::
way back in the early 90s. when i was in college. in boston. every friday afternoon i used to run downstairs to the lobby to pick up the latest issue of the phoenix. because back then. it still came out on fridays. and free copies were dropped off at college dorms. i would whip it open to the 'out there' column to more often than not, read of the latest trials and tribulations of alice k. (not her real initial) she wasnt real. but she was so real. you know. she was the pre-cursor to bridget jones. but funnier. and more real, i think.
her author. her creator. caroline knapp. ultimately stopped writing for the boston phoenix. and went on to bigger and better things. and then. caroline knapp died yesterday. its a sad day. r.i.p.
:: caroline 1:25:00 PM [+] ::
theres a new journal entry
:: Tuesday, June 4 ::
:: caroline 8:22:00 AM [+] ::
hefty congratulations to mariane and adam
:: caroline 8:21:00 PM [+] ::
"what do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?
special thanks to melissa for cracking me up. it had me laughing for hours.
yes, im fully aware of my dorkiness. thanks.
:: caroline 7:46:00 PM [+] ::